As England prepare to face Norway in today’s World Cup quarter final, one Highland organisation has made its loyalties crystal clear.
The Inverness Tourist Board has spent the past week campaigning for Norway with the sort of enthusiasm normally reserved for Eurovision voting, persuading thousands of followers that backing the Scandinavian side is not merely acceptable, but somehow the proper Highland thing to do.
Its social media campaign has featured Viking helmets, mock movie posters, football memes and enough Norwegian flags to make Oslo feel slightly self conscious.
Somewhere in the middle of all that, The Inverness Tourist Board reaffirmed their belief that Dingwall also does not exist.
According to the page, the Ross shire town is entirely fictional and survives only in the hearts of Norwegian football supporters, a position it has maintained despite mounting evidence that the place remains stubbornly present.
Residents insist they still live there, trains continue to stop there and the road signs show no obvious signs of doubt, yet the page has refused to reconsider its position.
As today’s match approaches, the campaign has moved into full World Cup fever, with Norwegian training camps lovingly recreated, Hollywood blockbusters given a distinctly Scandinavian makeover and England supporters finding themselves on the receiving end of a relentless stream of Highland humour.
Not everyone has appreciated the joke.
Several social media users have promised to report the page, while one particularly determined message announced that the police, Highland Council and local MPs had all been contacted.
The tourist board responded in exactly the way its followers have come to expect.
With more jokes.
Whatever happens when England and Norway kick off later today, one thing already seems certain.
The Inverness Tourist Board has achieved something many real organisations spend years trying to do by getting thousands of people talking, arguing and laughing about football, Norway and whether Dingwall actually exists.
For the avoidance of doubt, The Highland Times can confirm that Dingwall does, in fact, still exist.
At least until full time.
